I was living in Lexington, Kentucky when I first discovered my favorite trick when dealing with an angry person. Tell them when their face is the reddest it will get that "I'm sorry your so angry." in a patronizing happy granola head Jerry Garcia peace love and joy voice. Then sit back and watch red turn to purple. It can be a bunch of fun as long as you have either an escape plan or a whole team of soccer players that have your back. Kings soccer club formally the Red Runners had my back.

Before the game during warm-up sometimes I get the feeling of doom as I did when I saw who we were playing. Moose, Mr. Clean, Shamoo the angry one,  and a few others I have watched score a ton of times on us.  The Bombers who in their last game against us beat us something like 10 to 2, and the time before that, and the time before that and so on. The Bombers strolled in with new team jerseys. Their jerseys had a ball on it with flames and smoke and spirals and a pretty sparkly name of the team Bombers across their chest. The best part of the jersey and the thing that scared me the most was they had incorporated an ancient symbol of an open V running down the sleeve. Not one power symbol but four on each sleeve. After seeing this I thought there could be no hope.

Kings Soccer club went to work. Tom, Jeff, Joe, Jenny and I sealed the middle field and as the black knight in Monte Python said "None shall pass." and the only passes made by the other team were intercepted.

Mike, Todd, Dana, Lisa and Shannon mostly played the front. I say "mostly" because Mike started a poetic play from midfield causing a goal, and came from the rear in another play to swiftly take out the kid they unfairly recruited. Usually I hear Mike's scary whistle noise when he's ready to take someone out but this time all I experienced from the sidelines was a fast wind, and a red blur. Lisa scored the first goal of the game really early on, causing the other team to start playing out of control. The more calm we as a team played the more angry the Bombers got. Dana as she did in the last game stepped it up another notch scoring two great goals, the second, a control of a lob shot by serving it back up into the air followed by a cute little tap in was my favorite of her two. Shannon assisted three goals, and once again showed that she wasn't scared of the open V symbols on any of the other team players. Todd, well, you really don't want to have to block his hard shots. I'm pretty sure I heard the goalie whimper when Todd got his Hat Trick. The almost fourth goal would have been the best because it was a soft lob that no one was expecting that went right over the goalies head and bearly hit the corner of the goal, four inches over the other way and it would have gone in. What's past a hat trick? A magic trick?

With ten minutes to play the Bombers started to turn red in the face. Moose tried to trip me no less than 5 times, elbow me into the wall a few times and play like he needed a red card. All I could do was laugh which only turned him purple, my favorite.  The Bombers all bitched about how rough we were but the reality was that they were playing dirty because a team that they always beat stomped them 7 to 2 with finesse, and superior team play. Yo Bombers you should sell those jerseys, and join an anger management class.  Good game King's Soccer Club.

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