The sphere of my life in jewelry is growing outward, slowly, but growing still. Obstacles, like not advertising, compress the sphere, but Soulmates designs work hard against the constant pressure of competition. The designs in essence are like little critters that have personalities of their own, and on occasion they have so much to offer they become my babies. This last week I have been extremely sad, and I've not been able to place where the sore was coming from, but I suspect it is because I finished a bracelet that should have left me happy to have created such a piece, but in the process of making it, the bracelet had adapted and grown a personality that I had become to like very much. Six months of focused thought aimed at her. Her troubles were my problems to solve, and the solutions to the problems became my enlightenment, for instance I reacquainted myself with trigonometry ( in the original trigonometry class at the age of 16 I remember saying "when will I ever use this?" and promptly forgot it) because it was the solution to a problem, and now as a reward arcs and distances of arcs are simplified. I created a clasp that I had never seen before and set stones at perfect angles.
The bracelet and I had a few hours together before it was picked up and all I know is those final hours felt like the hours spent at the HNL international sending my friends and eventually myself off to the mainland. Glad for the future, but sad for the departure. Picked up, and worn out of the store I watched her leave. I know Margaret is the best jewelry mother one could have for this piece, but it is not the Mom I worry about. It is the child and the ideas I've bestowed on her. Did I feed her with too much gold and make her too fat? Will all 59 emerald cut F-G color Vs1 clarity diamonds stay in place and straight? Will she reflect beauty to others? The questions turn to fear, and the fear creates doubt. This doubt I believe was the sore to my sadness.
Sunday, Courtney and I were at breakfast, I'm still in my funk and up walks a beautiful woman wearing "Elements" earrings, the "Hawaiian fish hook", and my X ring, a living walking billboard. She tells me that in her last trip to Italy there was no store like Soulmates and she decided to keep her jewelry shopping money at home. Three hours later I'm at the Tennis finals with Agassi V. Hewit. I've been wandering through the crowds and I see "C'est la Vie." She has been worn like a great piece of armor. I see these pieces being worn and am given a sense of relief that my babies become armor and suddenly my doubt is gone.