Different Realities May 2007
I try to reflect on the concept of different realities on a daily basis. A soccer experience highlighted for me how different personal realities can be.
Pierson, our son, is on a great soccer team with a fantastic coach. Last season he had a different, but also fantastic, coach. In between this season, Spring soccer season, and last season, Fall soccer season, there was an opportunity for some boys to be moved up to the next higher level team.
Pierson has always been able to achieve a fair soccer-playing experience on his own merits when he is evaluated by professional soccer coaches and/or trainers. We were not contacted about the open positions on the higher level team and that was completely fine with us. Peter and I believe that with the proper support Pierson should achieve his soccer success on his own merits so that he can have a sincere sense of accomplishment. If we were to intervene or try some political maneuvering to get him on a higher level team, he would never be able to really feel good about his accomplishments.
Despite having a great Fall season with a fantastic coach, another family decided that it would be advantageous to maneuver their son onto the higher level team. I was a little perplexed when I heard about the move because when things in soccer are going well, I think 'leave them be' should be the approach. If the child is happy, playing with friends, the team is successful, the coach is professional and competent, and the other parents like your family...well...why move?
* On a side note, our Spring season was amazing. Pierson's new coach was a great player from Australia who had an immediate rapport with the boys. The new players fit in smoothly and immediately. Their team chemistry grew by leaps and bounds and our boys fought their way into the State Cup and won many games and a tournament. These boys improved so much that when they played referees would ask the parents who their trainer was. *
I was really sorry to see the other family go at the end of the Fall season, because despite being in the same club, we would not see them as often and Pierson really liked their son and we liked them. After they expressed some frustration with the new higher level team in the Spring, I said to them, 'Why not just come back to ours?' I was a little taken aback when their response was that they would not consider returning to our team.
I couldn't imagine why they wouldn't consider returning to our team when we both experienced a good Fall season, with a good group of boys and a good group of parents (perhaps even more important than a good group of boys, in my opinion,) a fantastic, professional coach, a successful season and a nice experience. But I realize that their reality, for whatever reason, was not the same reality that I experienced in the Fall season.
Maybe with try-outs rolling around they will reconsider and come back to our team, but with our divergent realities, I kind of doubt it. That is really too bad. But I guess millions of identical realities would make for a very boring and scary world.
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